Curly Short Hair... Fail 2.

Ugh, So I talked about purchasing a smaller conical wand for my hair... which I did. I thought what a wonderful idea! I didn't get the one I wanted for target was all out which is fine, I have used the Conair one before and it worked all the same. Little did I realize what a disaster this would turn into...

My mother has blessed and cursed me with gloriously thick hair. Do I enjoy my lush locks? Of course... but when sh*t like this occurs... i hate it and wish for thin hair like my sisters so that I could do things with it short.

Here is what I purchased...

Pretty basic, I've used a friends before, it works well, I have nothing bad to say about it.

Here is how I went about doing my hair.. I did not curl the underneath layer much, for the fact that I would like to keep some of the length on my hair instead of making it super shrink up. On the second layer, instead of curling in all the way up to the roots, I just did the ends. Gradually as I got closer to the top layer of my hair, I started curling more towards the roots to avoid the mushroom head/triangle head look... Let me tell you, this did not work. For all you thinner haired ladies, this will work out fine for you, I have no doubt. But us thick haired ladies... beware.

Here are front, side, and back pictures of how this turned out..

Is it horrific...? no... but I wouldn't want to go out into public like this. I think maybe it's the ends of the hair not being curled that gives me problems, or maybe I need to curl smaller sections, but I feel as though I curled some TEENY sections... Anybody have any suggestions... anyone?! Are you even out there listening/reading this, hoping I will find my way?
I like the curl... but it's the fluffy-ness of my hair... there is too much of it and I'm not sure how to fix the problem. Obviously more trial and error will have to occur with this. I mean, I am on Christmas break, it's not like I really have a whole lot to do but work at night, and sit around sleeping, playing video games, and eating all day. I might as well try to make my hair into different things.

Has anyone every tried rag curls with their thick short hair? I have plenty of muslin to make the strips, but I'm not sure if it would work. It doesn't hurt to try though. I've been researching videos and pictures, and tutorials and such on them, but I can't find one that I feel is good enough for me to test out.

Here I am, very unattractively posing, being grumpy that this hair turned out poopy, sitting in my bed painting my nails and pouting. Thank goodness my boyfriend was not here to see my hair... I can only imagine the things he would say to either, make sure I don't do my hair like that ever again, or to try to make me feel better. Case in point, the last time I tried to do my hair curly with the larger conical wand he said...."It kind of looks like Marilin Monroe hair".. So throughout the day I left it that way and was commented on it multiple times while I was at work, from coworkers telling me anything from my hair looks "exceptionally fluffy today"... to "Looks like you have sex hair".... Obviously, being one who prides myself of my hair, this made me feel extremely embarrassed.

For some reason, my insecurities have been multiplying ridiculously. Not to give you a sob story or anything, but in general I have your typical insecurities that all girls have. Mostly ones that I have either been made fun of for years, and years of therapy can never make that damage go away. (Example: Nose, It's been broken twice, looks fine from the front, but the side view has given me much hate, when middle schoolers of course ruined my self-image of my face for life) (Example 2: Weight, which makes absolutely ZERO since. I've always been extremely thin, mostly for the fact of a fast metabolism and my years of dancing. Though I loved dance, the body image issues that can stem from it are ridiculous) With my hair being all short, and my eyelashes not being so thick, and the holiday season where literally all we do is eat, it's really taking a toll on how I feel about myself. Generally, I am happy with how I look, and I am all around happy with my personality and the person I have become. But recently, I have just felt as though I'm not good enough, that I can easily be replaced, and it would be no big deal. Depression much? Maybe, but as women, don't we all have these days, weeks, or months of extreme insecurities brought upon by something random? Or maybe you don't and I am being obscene.

So here is a mantra I feel as though I should write across my vanity mirror to see every day, when I get ready," I am simple, yet complex. I am a beautiful young lady, and I accept myself for all the mistakes I have made. My mistakes have made me into the wonderful woman, I am, and I will continue to grow and better myself with each passing day. I will love fearlessly, and be open to love from others. I will not let others project negative views of myself, because I know who I am, and who I am meant to be."

I read that if you read a mantra to yourself, everyday for at least a month, you can tell a difference in how you react in different situations throughout life. I will be writing this out and posting it where I get ready for the day, and make myself read it and believe it, because I am a wonderful woman, and I deserve to believe in that.

Sorry for that extreme rant at the end, but I have a lot of crazy emotions coming out these past few days. Maybe it's from being cooped up in my house with puffy chip monk cheeks, or maybe I have been thinking like this for awhile, and I have finally come to terms with it.

I suggest you too make a mantra for yourself to read, and together, we can envision our beauty together.

Okay sappy time over...
XO-Stacey